Chuck's blog I'm not interested in getting something out of life, just gettin' it would do

Can you remember . . .

So I find myself doing something that I told myself that I would never do . . . write a serious blog.  Oh, the horror!   However, tonight I'm pensive and deep into it but we'll see if this really gets posted (By the fact you are reading this you know that answer).

Recently I took a trip to Vegas and was able to meet up with someone who was my "first LOVE".  Now, I know that sounds cheesy but bare with me.

Can you remember the first girlfriend that you had or someone that made you feel that way?  Does it bring a smile to your mouth even now?

Can you remember the feelings that ran through you and the excitement which touched you when your eyes met?

The thrill of holding hands? The way their smile could cut through any troubles that you had?

I do.

Do you remember the love songs and the time spent together, feeling full of life and that it was enough?

Wishing you didn't have to run home before you got in trouble because you were out past curfew (or you had snuck out of the house, rushing home to sneak back in and hoping that you did not get caught?  Okay, that's a different story)?

I do.

Or rather I can remember the whispers of the thoughts and feelings that remain.  The story remains but it's faint.  It whispers and those whispers come back and remind me of past times that either haunt my heart or brings a smile to my lips.

There are many things that you learn from past loves and many times those lessons, while partly forgotten and partly replaced, leave the essence of themselves. At times they are triggered by a certain smell, glance of a fading image or a distant memory reliving itself in your mind and remind you of their existence. During that moment you can remember . . .

This is what I remember . . .

I remember what it was to fall in love for the first time

I remember a dream that I had of what love would be and how sweet it would taste

I, being a romantic at heart, remember wanting that and nothing else

Life has taught me . . .

Life has taught me that, while the first love shimmers and glows, that is not all love has to offer. Love is so much more. There is a bittersweet side of love. Yes, it is sweet beyond belief but in order to understand how sweet that side is you must taste the bitter. But the bitter is tempered by the sweet and in the joining of the two, love is embodied and the bitter and sweet combine into perfection.

Life has taught me that, while the dream of finding and holding onto love is not a dream to let go, there are dreams that can be put aside because there are other dreams to be had.  Dreams which are more beautiful and fulfilling.  Ones which will not only allow you to compliment the dream of love you thought you had lost but also help you find fullfilment and depth of a true vision where you thought there was only a dream.

The reason for this blog is so that someday, if it survives, maybe my kids will see some of the things we did together.  And they will know that they are the dreams that are more beautiful and fulfilling that bring vision to my life and not the haze which I sometimes wish to dwell in.  A haze that does not provide true purpose and true guidance.

So, to life I say, "Bring it". I have purpose and vision despite it all.

For that, I can't and won't fail.